Profanity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Violence:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Sex: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Summary
The Dark Knight Rises is one of the longest movies on the planet (at least the I've ever seen), at 2:44, you can see that I will clearly have to do some slight abbreviation on this Synopsis.
For some strange reason, the movie starts with randomly breaking ice. There is some breaking ice at the end of the movie, but I don't see how it really matters that that much to the story. Then, the Police commissioner Gordon is speaking at Harvey Dent's funeral (he looks younger than in the rest of the movie).
Then, it smash cuts to a CIA agent taking in a captured Russian scientist from some KGB agents and taking him onto his airplane. Then, the KGB agents decide to give him some extra presents of some mercenaries which apparently he doesn't like because he starts chucking them out of the airplane when they won't give him information.
After killing two of them, a third starts talking. The CIA agent pulls the bag off his head and sees what the guy looks like. It's Bane, the criminal who the CIA agent was trying to get information about from the mercenaries. Well, you could have told me that you yourself were on here, buddy, you would have saved me from having my voice go hoarse from yelling at the other guys.
Then, Bane's friends who have a much bigger and better plane then the CIA guy connect the agents plane to theirs so it's hanging below it. The wings and back (now the top, as the plane has turned so it's front is facing down) blow off conveniently so Bane can pull the Russian agent onto his own plane by pulley system, first giving the scientist's blood to a dead guy so it will look like he's dead. Then, they drop the agent's plane leaving Bane hanging below the big plane with the Russian scientist.
Then, smash cut to a party honoring Harvey Dent where Commissioner Gordon gets stage fright and decides not to give his speech that he wrote and instead, decides to ad lib it. You'd think that would be more difficult than just doing your speech but, apparently not. Then, there is a sexy thief in a dress who is pretending to be a waitress at the party who gets called up to the out of bounds part of the house where the house's owner and party thrower pines away alone,never speaking to anybody. He is Bruce Wayne, eccentric billionaire and also (secretly) Batman. After placing the meal she was supposed to bring him on the table she breaks in to his safe, collects his fingerprints and steals some pearls.
After that, she goes and kidnaps a congressman and brings him to a sleazy pub where she hands the fingerprints over to a person who needs the prints for some reason. Then, its a classic story of betrayal. She gives him the prints but leaves out the thumb print until after he pays her for getting the prints, one of his guys puts a gun to her head and she coughs up, and then, she tricks the man into using the congressman's (who is, by this time, has been declared missing) phone. Immediately, she SWAT teams and the police show up with Commissioner Gordon.The apparently sexist police don't give the woman (who anybody who knows Batman knows is Cat Woman) a second glance because she's only a harmless little hysterical woman. She steals a police car and gets away.
Meanwhile, a policeman who's played by the guy who looks like Keanu Reves (SPOILER: He's ex-Robin, so I'm going to call him that) finds the congressman and Commissioner Gordon gets captured by Bane's men who live in the sewer. Gordon gets brought down to Bane but escapes by jumping into a drainage pipe. Ex Robin doesn't miss a beat and goes right to the sewage out gate where the Commissioner washed up. ER (Ex Robin) takes him to the hospital.
Meanwhile (again) Bruce Wayne finds out from ER that his huge company has stopped funding boys homes in the city. He is annoyed, so the first thing he does is go to the hospital. Totally rational: Your angry about funding being stopped for orphanages because you don't have enough money to keep funding them so the first thing you do is go spend more money on a leg operation.
He speaks with Commissioner Gordon who is, thanks to ER, safely in the hospital. He has a mask on so the Commissioner doesn't know it's Bruce Wayne and only knows that it's the guy who was Batman several years before. Gordon tries to get Batman to return and Wayne jumps out of a window (he does have a belay, it just sounded more dramatic if I didn't add that part in.)
Then, Wayne goes to a party where he promptly accidentally insults the romantically interested (in him) Ms. Tate (notice the miss and not misses in her name, Brucey) who put together the party, and while dancing with the Cat who we have no idea why she is there, steals back his pearls. But don't worry, she gets back at him by stealing his car.
Bane decides to go to the stock exchange. Wait, let me rephrase that, he crashes the stock exchange by using Bruce Wayne's fingerprints and ruining stock in his company, effectively turning bruce Wayne broke. However, they needed to actually show Batman once in this movie so they had to have Bane and his cronies leave on motorcycles and get chased down by Batman. However, the police are less interested in Bane's men who they think are only robbers, and instead want to capture Batman who they think committed murder. Batman escapes on the Bat-mobile and goes to help Cat who, after trying to get her payment from the guy who she gave Wayne's prints to and ending up realizing that it doesn't exist, is suddenly surrounded by Bane's best buds. Batman helps her beat the bad guys up and they escape in the Bat.
The next day, Wayne goes broke but gets to keep his house. So, the smartest thing to do if you were rich and you have a fancy house and a six pack, is to have sex with a rich girl who really wants to f**ck you. Clever!
So he makes love to Ms. Tate and then asks her to take over his company, hoping that she'll bring it back up. He then goes and tells Cat that what she wantedas payment from the guy who wanted Wayne's prints does exist (her payment was going to be "The Clean Slate," a device that could wipe every piece of data about a person clean in a matter of seconds) and that Batman can give it to her if she goes to meet him in a train tunnel (in theory, not the best place to meet due to the strong likelihood that you could get run over by a train at any second.)
Batman says he'll give her the Clean Slate if she brings him to Bane. She does, but betrays him and Bane beats him up before bringing him to a prison somewhere in Africa thats underground. There is one way out and if you can make it to the top of this big hole, you can get away.
While Wayne tries to get strong enough to climb the impossible climb out of the prison, Bane takes over Gotham (the city that Batman supposedly protected).
Bane's Russian doctor who he captured at the beginning, builds a bomb to blow up Gotham and Bane tells the people that if one of them leaves the city, it will blow up. Bane also traps the police underground.
What Bane doesn't tell the people is that the Bomb will blow up anyway, no matter what the people do. Bane tells the people to overcome the government and start their own government. Rich and important people are tried purely for being rich and important. They get the choice between being killed and being exiled. If they get exiled, then they have to walk across thinning and breaking ice and if they fall in, they freeze to death.
Bane, has, by this time, totally stopped pretending that he's working to overthrow Wayne's company (which was his facade before) and is trying to help the people rise up from the old government. However, he commits the fairly large oversight of failing to see that it doesn't matter whether the people rise up or not, the bomb will blow them sky high either way.
Meanwhile, Wayne manages to break out of the impossible to break out of prison and comes back to save the day.
ER and Commissioner Gordon and a bunch of National Aid guys who came to deliver supplies to the once law enforcement, now rebels of Gotham plan to deliver the anti explosion thing to the bomb. A good call, all in all. Better than just letting yourself die.
Batman looses all of his element of surprise by burning a giant version of his Dark Knight logo into the side of a bridge and then goes hunting for Bane. You know Batman, the better thing to do would have been to stop Bane and then announce you presence.
In the end, it doesn't matter because he gets Bane, has almost won, before his kind of girlfriend Ms. Tate decides to be evil and stabs him in the side. She then tries to detonate the bomb remotely but ER and Gordon succeeded in stopping the bomb so nothing happens.
However, as Ms. Tate quickly reveals, her bomb will still go off anyway, even with the anti explosion thing the Gordon put on it. Labels today, you can never trust them!
Ms. Tate leaves in a mini tank and Bane attempts to kill Batman but Cat Woman zooms in on Batman's awesome motorcycle (auto theft alert!!!!) and shoots Bane dead!!!
Batman gets in the Bat-mobile with Cat and they follow Tate. Batman realizes that the only thing that will save the city is if he puts the bomb in the Bat-mobile and drives far out to sea with it.
He does, he blows up, and the city is saved. They stop thinking of him as a criminal and start thinking of him as a hero.
One weird thing happens at the end of the movie (after we officially find out that ER was Robin). Wayne seems to be alive. I'm pretty sure that even Wayne can't not be blown up when a nuclear bomb goes off practically at his feet. Even if that didn't kill him, the radiation should have. But somehow, he's alive!!! Yay!
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Then, it smash cuts to a CIA agent taking in a captured Russian scientist from some KGB agents and taking him onto his airplane. Then, the KGB agents decide to give him some extra presents of some mercenaries which apparently he doesn't like because he starts chucking them out of the airplane when they won't give him information.
After killing two of them, a third starts talking. The CIA agent pulls the bag off his head and sees what the guy looks like. It's Bane, the criminal who the CIA agent was trying to get information about from the mercenaries. Well, you could have told me that you yourself were on here, buddy, you would have saved me from having my voice go hoarse from yelling at the other guys.
Then, Bane's friends who have a much bigger and better plane then the CIA guy connect the agents plane to theirs so it's hanging below it. The wings and back (now the top, as the plane has turned so it's front is facing down) blow off conveniently so Bane can pull the Russian agent onto his own plane by pulley system, first giving the scientist's blood to a dead guy so it will look like he's dead. Then, they drop the agent's plane leaving Bane hanging below the big plane with the Russian scientist.
Then, smash cut to a party honoring Harvey Dent where Commissioner Gordon gets stage fright and decides not to give his speech that he wrote and instead, decides to ad lib it. You'd think that would be more difficult than just doing your speech but, apparently not. Then, there is a sexy thief in a dress who is pretending to be a waitress at the party who gets called up to the out of bounds part of the house where the house's owner and party thrower pines away alone,never speaking to anybody. He is Bruce Wayne, eccentric billionaire and also (secretly) Batman. After placing the meal she was supposed to bring him on the table she breaks in to his safe, collects his fingerprints and steals some pearls.
After that, she goes and kidnaps a congressman and brings him to a sleazy pub where she hands the fingerprints over to a person who needs the prints for some reason. Then, its a classic story of betrayal. She gives him the prints but leaves out the thumb print until after he pays her for getting the prints, one of his guys puts a gun to her head and she coughs up, and then, she tricks the man into using the congressman's (who is, by this time, has been declared missing) phone. Immediately, she SWAT teams and the police show up with Commissioner Gordon.The apparently sexist police don't give the woman (who anybody who knows Batman knows is Cat Woman) a second glance because she's only a harmless little hysterical woman. She steals a police car and gets away.
Meanwhile, a policeman who's played by the guy who looks like Keanu Reves (SPOILER: He's ex-Robin, so I'm going to call him that) finds the congressman and Commissioner Gordon gets captured by Bane's men who live in the sewer. Gordon gets brought down to Bane but escapes by jumping into a drainage pipe. Ex Robin doesn't miss a beat and goes right to the sewage out gate where the Commissioner washed up. ER (Ex Robin) takes him to the hospital.
Meanwhile (again) Bruce Wayne finds out from ER that his huge company has stopped funding boys homes in the city. He is annoyed, so the first thing he does is go to the hospital. Totally rational: Your angry about funding being stopped for orphanages because you don't have enough money to keep funding them so the first thing you do is go spend more money on a leg operation.
He speaks with Commissioner Gordon who is, thanks to ER, safely in the hospital. He has a mask on so the Commissioner doesn't know it's Bruce Wayne and only knows that it's the guy who was Batman several years before. Gordon tries to get Batman to return and Wayne jumps out of a window (he does have a belay, it just sounded more dramatic if I didn't add that part in.)
Then, Wayne goes to a party where he promptly accidentally insults the romantically interested (in him) Ms. Tate (notice the miss and not misses in her name, Brucey) who put together the party, and while dancing with the Cat who we have no idea why she is there, steals back his pearls. But don't worry, she gets back at him by stealing his car.
Bane decides to go to the stock exchange. Wait, let me rephrase that, he crashes the stock exchange by using Bruce Wayne's fingerprints and ruining stock in his company, effectively turning bruce Wayne broke. However, they needed to actually show Batman once in this movie so they had to have Bane and his cronies leave on motorcycles and get chased down by Batman. However, the police are less interested in Bane's men who they think are only robbers, and instead want to capture Batman who they think committed murder. Batman escapes on the Bat-mobile and goes to help Cat who, after trying to get her payment from the guy who she gave Wayne's prints to and ending up realizing that it doesn't exist, is suddenly surrounded by Bane's best buds. Batman helps her beat the bad guys up and they escape in the Bat.
The next day, Wayne goes broke but gets to keep his house. So, the smartest thing to do if you were rich and you have a fancy house and a six pack, is to have sex with a rich girl who really wants to f**ck you. Clever!
So he makes love to Ms. Tate and then asks her to take over his company, hoping that she'll bring it back up. He then goes and tells Cat that what she wantedas payment from the guy who wanted Wayne's prints does exist (her payment was going to be "The Clean Slate," a device that could wipe every piece of data about a person clean in a matter of seconds) and that Batman can give it to her if she goes to meet him in a train tunnel (in theory, not the best place to meet due to the strong likelihood that you could get run over by a train at any second.)
Batman says he'll give her the Clean Slate if she brings him to Bane. She does, but betrays him and Bane beats him up before bringing him to a prison somewhere in Africa thats underground. There is one way out and if you can make it to the top of this big hole, you can get away.
While Wayne tries to get strong enough to climb the impossible climb out of the prison, Bane takes over Gotham (the city that Batman supposedly protected).
Bane's Russian doctor who he captured at the beginning, builds a bomb to blow up Gotham and Bane tells the people that if one of them leaves the city, it will blow up. Bane also traps the police underground.
What Bane doesn't tell the people is that the Bomb will blow up anyway, no matter what the people do. Bane tells the people to overcome the government and start their own government. Rich and important people are tried purely for being rich and important. They get the choice between being killed and being exiled. If they get exiled, then they have to walk across thinning and breaking ice and if they fall in, they freeze to death.
Bane, has, by this time, totally stopped pretending that he's working to overthrow Wayne's company (which was his facade before) and is trying to help the people rise up from the old government. However, he commits the fairly large oversight of failing to see that it doesn't matter whether the people rise up or not, the bomb will blow them sky high either way.
Meanwhile, Wayne manages to break out of the impossible to break out of prison and comes back to save the day.
ER and Commissioner Gordon and a bunch of National Aid guys who came to deliver supplies to the once law enforcement, now rebels of Gotham plan to deliver the anti explosion thing to the bomb. A good call, all in all. Better than just letting yourself die.
Batman looses all of his element of surprise by burning a giant version of his Dark Knight logo into the side of a bridge and then goes hunting for Bane. You know Batman, the better thing to do would have been to stop Bane and then announce you presence.
In the end, it doesn't matter because he gets Bane, has almost won, before his kind of girlfriend Ms. Tate decides to be evil and stabs him in the side. She then tries to detonate the bomb remotely but ER and Gordon succeeded in stopping the bomb so nothing happens.
However, as Ms. Tate quickly reveals, her bomb will still go off anyway, even with the anti explosion thing the Gordon put on it. Labels today, you can never trust them!
Ms. Tate leaves in a mini tank and Bane attempts to kill Batman but Cat Woman zooms in on Batman's awesome motorcycle (auto theft alert!!!!) and shoots Bane dead!!!
Batman gets in the Bat-mobile with Cat and they follow Tate. Batman realizes that the only thing that will save the city is if he puts the bomb in the Bat-mobile and drives far out to sea with it.
He does, he blows up, and the city is saved. They stop thinking of him as a criminal and start thinking of him as a hero.
One weird thing happens at the end of the movie (after we officially find out that ER was Robin). Wayne seems to be alive. I'm pretty sure that even Wayne can't not be blown up when a nuclear bomb goes off practically at his feet. Even if that didn't kill him, the radiation should have. But somehow, he's alive!!! Yay!
Review
Despite my profuse mockery of this movie in the Summary, I really liked this film. And about the mockery, I do it to every movie I review even The Hunger Games which I loved. I thought that The Dark Knight Rises (the first DC superhero movie I could sit through all the way) was much more of a real movie than the Marvel stuff. I knew it had to be better than Iron Man or Thor because it was made by Christopher Nolan who, by the way, is a real director, not one of those quickly made superhero movie directors.
Let me elaborate on that. Most superhero movies (at least the Marvel ones) were entertaining but really cheesy. To me, they seemed to have been kind of cheaply done. I don't know if it's all the bright colors or the fact that the Marvel universe has gods be superheroes but I just liked this movie a lot more. To me, I guess the Marvel movies seemed like made for TV movies or something.
I also love dark movies. And the title definitely gave away that it was going to be a dark movie. I mean, it had the word Dark right there in the name. The Dark Knight Rises. This movie was very great. To me it was like a really greasy pizza versus a dry pizza (this movie was the greasy pizza!). I was going to use chocolates but that gives off the idea that I'm a grandfather living alone in an upstairs apartment in New York.
So, once again, I loved this movie. DC, you can quote any of this if you want :),and I'm looking forward to watching the rest of the trilogy in reverse :).
Posters
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Parental Guidance Information
This movie was, like the title says, very dark. There was a lot of death, scary masks, creepy scenes and disturbing images. However, I'd say that, unless your children don't like suggested death/gore, you're probably good to watch on DVD. I wouldn't show you're child this movie in theaters (if you can find a Strand theater that is showing it) because it is quite violent. A lot of people die.
However, most of the deaths are relatively bloodless. Very few close up deaths. There are a lot of explosions, car chases, and some sex. I'd recommend an age restriction of 10, an with "The Talk" behind them to watch this movie.
For parents who are bringing their children to see this movie in Strand or watching it on DVD, here are some scenes to watch out for even though almost every scene has violence in it:
- Airplane scene (get on alert when soldiers open the airplane's door when their flying)
- Stock Exchange Scene (starts with a wide pan on the stock exchange hall)
- Bane vs. Batman scene (starts with Batman and Cat in a subway tunnel)
- Ms. Tate and Bruce sex scene (starts with Bruce Wayne trying to get into his house in the rain)
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